Why Did I Dream About My Ex-Boyfriend or Girlfriend? With 10 Reasons

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Sleep is the greatest for most individuals, partly because it allows us to rest and dream. However, occasionally such dreams may be quite stressful, especially if you’re dreaming about someone you’d rather forget. You’re daydreaming about eating the finest ice cream you’ve ever had, and then…your ex walks in? What does dreaming about your ex mean? It is not necessarily an indication that you want to get back together.

Of course, it’s normal to wonder about the meaning of your dreams, and your interest is likely to increase when someone unexpected appears. Even if you’re blissfully in a new relationship (or feel like you’re over that previous boyfriend or girlfriend in your waking hours), seeing an ex or two in your dreams isn’t unusual.

Dreaming about an ex is quite frequent, and it may not indicate what you believe. If you’ve ever wondered why your brain continues recalling a certain individual while you’re sleeping, one (or more) of these explanations may help.

Table of Contents

Why did I dream about my ex boyfriend or girlfriend?

1. You harbor resentment toward your ex.

Before you get too worked up over this, keep in mind that these aren’t always romantic sentiments. Dreaming about an ex, according to relationship expert Terri Orbuch, who talked to Women’s Health, might indicate that you’re yearning for closure. Perhaps you’re still upset about how things ended between the two of you, or perhaps you’re still trying to work out how your relationship ended in your head.

2. You’re concerned about your chances of success in a new relationship.

According to Ally Mead, a psychic who has studied dream interpretation, if you dream about your ex when you’re starting a new relationship with someone else, you’re probably comparing the two in an effort to ensure that things work out this time. “If you’re moving into a new relationship, your mind may still be attempting to sort through the pluses and minuses of your previous relationship,” Mead explained. “Your brain is attempting to secure the success of your new connection in this scenario.”

3. It represents a larger issue.

“Most of the time, dreams are symbolic rather than literal,” Mead explained. “Your emotions are generally best put on repairing whatever caused you to have exes in the first place.”

So, if you dream about your ex, consider why your relationship ended and what you may have done differently. If it was your fault — and even if it wasn’t — figuring things out and preventing it from occurring again might put an end to these dreams.

4. You are still not over them.

Even if you’re dreaming about your ex for reasons other than still having affections for him or her, this is still a possibility. You might need to go deep within yourself to see if you’re really wanting you might get back together… and then decide where to go from there

5. It isn’t about your ex; it is about you.

According to Psychics Universe, an ex in a dream might symbolize a part of you. Perhaps it implies you gave up too much of yourself and what you love in your last relationship, and it’s time to reclaim that. Perhaps it indicates that you are ignoring yourself in some manner. In any case, it can’t harm to examine your own conduct when you were with your ex to see whether you need to make any substantial adjustments.

6. You are concerned that someone else may injure you again.

For many individuals, getting over an old relationship is tough because they are afraid of being hurt in the same manner again — especially if the breakup was very painful. That might have something to do with your ex appearing in your nightmares. According to Exemplore, the dream might even be your way of recognizing that a new relationship is heading in the same direction. That might suggest you need to do everything you can to influence the trajectory of the relationship, or that you haven’t reached complete emotional closure.

7. Your dream’s ex is actually you, breaking up with yourself.

Exes in dreams, as you can undoubtedly see, may represent a wide range of emotions. According to Exemplore, it might just be your mind’s way of alerting you that you’re suppressing a different aspect of yourself — most likely the opposing side of yourself — and that you need to reconnect with who you truly are.

“Taking this sort of dream as a sign that you should reconnect with your ex would not only leave this issue unanswered, but will further compound the matter,” the website states. “This dream is telling you that you need to develop your relationship with yourself; don’t divert yourself by putting your efforts into other relationships right now.”

8. You’re attempting to forgive them following a horrible split.

If things didn’t end well between you and there was never an opportunity for forgiveness, the dream might be your brain’s way of generating that opportunity for you. According to Dreamstop, it might signify the need to reconcile with your ex. Do you want the dreams to stop? If you forgive your ex while you’re awake and alert, it could just work.

9. You miss some aspects of your life with them.

According to Dreammoods Dream Dictionary, seeing your ex in a dream might signify that you miss something from your previous life with that person and want it back. However, the missing element isn’t always the person; it may be where you lived, something you did together, or a site you frequented at the time.

10. You are dissatisfied because of anything in your life.

According to Dreammoods, an ex in your dream might represent something else in your life that is making you sad, something else you need to “part up with” in order to truly move on. If you know for a fact that something is pulling you down, you should try to alter it.

Dreaming about an ex might imply a variety of things, but the best way to figure out what the dream is trying to tell you is to go inside yourself. You most likely already have all of the answers you seek.

Should you inform your partner if you’re in a relationship?

While communication is typically beneficial in relationships, Barr and Loewenberg believe that informing your present sweetie that your ex-boo is chilling in your subconscious would do more harm than good.

“It will most likely make your spouse anxious and envious, without offering you or them anything,” Loewenberg adds.

Still, as Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, CST, director and sex therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, puts it, “there are no’shoulds’ when it comes to partnerships, because each relationship and individual is different.”

According to Kahn, the following questions might help you figure out what’s best for your relationship:

Do you want to tell your partner and if so, what are your intentions and motivations?
Are there any consequences for yourself or in your relationship if you were to tell your partner?
How do you feel about those consequences?

How to Discuss It

Should you tell your partner about your dreams in private? Most likely not.

But, as Barr points out, our collaborators are quite perceptive. If your dreams are influencing, troubling, or haunting you, your significant other has most certainly noticed.

That’s why, if your spouse asks what’s up, Barr proposes telling them you’ve been experiencing some strange dreams.

As an example:

“I realize I’ve been a little headstrong lately. It’s because I’ve been getting really vivid nightmares about my past, which has been very unsettling for me. But I’m here, I love you, and you don’t have to worry.”

“You’re correct, I’ve been in a strange mood.” My nightmares have recently been really unsettling, and they have been plaguing my waking hours. I’ll let you know if I want to discuss it further.”